Parenting

There are many great resources and at times I've used bits and pieces of many. In our home, we have had great success using strategies from:

Love and Logic

Love and Logic provides simple and practical techniques to help parents and teachers have less stress and more fun while raising responsible kids.  www.loveandlogic.com

Dr. Kevin Leman is a world-renown Christian author and speaker http://www.drleman.com/ His books are humorous fun reads. He has a great single parenting dvd course too!

Briefly, Strategies that work:

Structure

Consistencey and follow through

Freedom with in limits

Praise

Set expectations

Play

Tie consequences to the "crime". 

Let the kids make their mistakes, be there to support and guide.

Ask questions: What will happen if? If you did that this could happen, then let them decide.

Model the person you want them to be. 

Parents hate this, but if there are behavior problems with the children. Its time to re-examine the parenting style and learn new tools for your parental tool kit.  Start with changing your style and see what happens but be prepared that behavior may get worse as kids test to see if you are truly serious. Stick to your plan; take a parenting class. What I love most about teaching parenting classes, is the knowledge and ideas I gleem from other parents  Seriously, the parents who attend the classes are the good ones, disengaged parents never come.  Parenting classes are a sign of love and strength!

Not sure where to find parenting classes: Inquire at your school districts, churches and agencies who provide a parenting service.  Often times these classes are free or nearly free!

Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

Co-Parenting Tips and Considerations:

Avoid conflict in front of your children at all cost.

Establish a business relationship with your ex which is focused on the best interest of your children.

Be supportive of the other parents role in your child's life. Children have a right to love both parents and have their own relationships with each of you. Its one of those ideas we might not like but need to accept. When they grow up they will make the correct decisions and will respect the parent who didn't use them as a weapon.

Take responsibility for communicating with your child's other parent. I am the primary custodial parent, my spouse will not communicate with me, My solution, I came up with a newletter, similar to the newsletters sent home from school. My newsletter provides updates and notifications of up coming dates. I keep a copy for my own documentation.

When possible be flexible and willing to compromise. Set the example. If your spouse would like to pick the kids up for an impromptu event and nothing is going on, let the children decide if they'd like to go. Remind yourself, you are NOT doing it for the ex, you're doing it for the children.

Strive to provide your children with consistency and stability regardless of the other parent's actions. One parent can not control the other but we can control our parenting and behavior.

Children will cope as well as their parents do. If parents take care of themselves and are able to turn the lemon into lemonade by using this life situation to teach the children about forgiveness, how to manage feelings, demonstrate respect, responsibility and taking the high road. Children will continue to thrive.